¿Estufa?

            People always ask me if I can speak Spanish, then I always say the same thing “I used to be fluent in it” which is true. When I was younger, I would speak in that language with my mom, my aunt, and my grandma like it was nothing. That happened until I was enrolled in headstart at the age of 3 years old. It was a nightmare trying to fit in. I had to use my “simple English” to communicate with the teachers and my friends. As an introverted kid, it was brutal but through time and years of speech therapy, I survived elementary school. I spoke in English at school while at home, I spoke in Spanish. It stayed like that until I got more comfortable speaking English that I spoke the language at home as well. I thought I would never forget Spanish, even joked and denied it until I did.

            It happened back in 2021, 11 year old me was watching YouTube on the TV in my mom’s bed since my room had no TV at 9 in the morning. The room was dark with the TV being the only source of light. I had a purple blanket with hearts on top of me, I was kinda warm due to the fact it couldn’t cover my entire body. My mom rarely buys new blankets unless it’s broken or 100,000 years old. My mom came through the door and told me she was going to the store to get some ingredients to make Mangu. It’s a Dominican dish consisting of mashed plantains, salami, eggs, cheese, and onions. It can taste savory or sweet and salty, depending on the plantain you used. The yellow ones are sweet while the green ones have a mild taste to them. I said okay and she left.

            Ten minutes later, my phone rang, it was my mom. I thought she was checking up on me since she always does that when I’m home alone. “Isis, apaga la estufa por mí,” she said. Apaga means turn off, por mi means for me. So, what does estufa mean? My brain was filled with question marks trying to understand what my mom was saying. I asked her to repeat it and she did. I still couldn’t understand. The light? The TV? The AC? I keep thinking those words meant estufa and I knew those weren’t correct.

            My mom happened to be with one of her male friends as this was going and understood what was happening. He got close to my mom’s phone and said “Isis, turn off the stove.” Estufa means stove in Spanish. When he said that, I instantly felt relieved about what my mom was telling me. I even laughed at myself for forgetting such a simple word. My mom says that word all the time, so I don’t even know how I forgot it. I eventually had to leave my room and go through the living room to enter the kitchen. At the end of it, next to the window, was the stove. On it was a pot with boiled plantains, ready to make Mangu. My mom arrived five minutes later with the rest of the ingredients to make the dish. I really enjoyed it as it’s one of my favorite dishes to make and eat.

I think about that moment a lot, wondering if I should’ve taken it as a sign that I’m forgetting my Spanish. Nowadays, I can understand the language but I’m not as fluent as I used to be 10 years ago. I’ve always wondered if that incident didn’t happen, would I forget my Spanish completely? I also thought that I’m not “Latino enough” which I only found out about on social media. There are some people in this world who think that if you’re Latino, you have to speak Spanish. I never understood this idea, and I don’t think I ever will. This moment gives me some motivation to try to improve my Spanish with classes and it’s helping a lot. I also ask my mom for any help for my Spanish homework and ask her what some words mean. My Spanish may not be as good as it was years ago and I have an accent now but as of now, I’m okay with that.